The Best Little Whorehouse Goes Public

A Musical Comedy in 2 Acts, a Prologue and 15 Scenes. Book by Larry L. King and Peter Masterson. Music and lyrics by Carol Hall.

Lunt­Fontanne Theatre, Broadway. Opened 10th May, 1994; closed 21st May, 1994 (15 performances)

Synopsis

The show opens with the ensemble singing of the glorious opportunities to be found in Las Vegas; then to the Vegas streets, where several lovely ladies of the evening inform us, through song and dance, that anything goes "...in a town like this!" They in turn introduce us to Ralph J. Bostic, a road-runner of a cab driver, who realises, in a flash of entrepreneurial brilliance, that he could make a financial killing if he could just get the State to legalise prostitution, That done, he convinces the girls to go to work for him at his "Stallion Fields" ranch/bordello

A group of IRS agents catch up with Ralph J. Bostick. They inform him that he must pay taxes on the fortune he's already made at "Stallion Fields," but he escapes with all the money before they can nab him.

Back at IRS Headquarters in Washington, the Chief and his assistant order the junior member of the department, Terri Clark, to go to Vegas and collect the "Stallion Fields" tax debt, but she has another idea and makes a detour to Texas to trackdown expert ex-Madam, Mona Stangley. Mona used to manage the famous "Chicken Ranch".

Now, in semi-retirement, we catch up with her in her shabby motel room, and she sings the poignant rock-ballad "Picture Show," in which we learn of the hard times she's had to deal with in her past ... and present. Terri finds Mona and explains her plan: with the help of Mona's managerial skills, she wants to re-open "Stallion Fields" as a legitimate business and pay off the tax debt from its profits. After some hesitation Mona agrees, and in a rip-roaring ensemble number she declares "I'm Leavin' Texas!". Mona arrives at "Stallion Fields" and after viewing the financial mess left behind by Bostick, she phones her old boy-friend Sam Dallas, a financial wizard who has built up a fortune back in Texas. She appeals to him to come try to straighten out the books at "Stallion Fields"; he agrees, although they both express some anxiety about getting back together after such a long time.

After going over the books, Sam sadly tells Mona, Terri and the girls that there's no way they can bail out their huge tax debt ... unless ... Sam can figure out a way to "go public" and sell shares in "Stallion Fields" on the Big Board!! The Wall Street guys are very enthusiastic about the idea.

Act Two opens with the TV Evangelist/Senator A. Harry Hardast imploring his constituents to rise up against the "immoral" stock offering planned by Sam and Mona. Mona and the girls, with Sam's help, have set up a lucrative "phone-sex" business as a sideline.

Meanwhile, Sam begins to feel that his relationship with Mona is developing into more than just business - and he likes it!

Senator Hardast has mounted a Congressional investigation challenging Mona's qualifications to be licensed for the Stock Exchange. Mona's girls cause a noticeable stir when they slink into the room for the hearing, and Mona completely outwits the Senator. Humiliated, he storms out of the hearing in full view of the TV cameras and reporters. Mona sings about their modest aspirations. Mona's crushing defeat of the Senator has made her a national hero, and with the support of the men's choir she sings of the glorious opportunities available to everyone in our great land. The show concludes with an unexpected, but very happy, ending for Terri, Mona and Sam.

Musical Numbers

1. Prologue - Let the Devil Take Us - Las Vegas Legends, Showroom Patrons, Street Whores, Ralph J. Bostick
2. Nothin' Like a Picture Show - Mona Stangley
3. I'm Leavin' Texas - Mona Stangley, Texans
4. It's Been a While - Sam Dallas, Mona Stangley
5. Brand New Start - Sam Dallas, Mona Stangley, Terri Clark, I.R.S. Director, Schmidt, Working Girls, Wall Street Wolves
6. The Smut Song - Harry Hardast
7. Call Me - Mona Stangley, Girls, Couch Potaotoes (Men)
8. Change in Me - Sam Dallas
9. Here for the Hearing - Ladies, Senators
10. Piece of the Pie - Mona Stangley, Sam Dallas, Ladies
11. Change in Me (reprise) - Sam Dallas
12. If We Open Our Eyes - Entire Company

Scenes and Settings

Prologue: The showroom, Las Vegas.

Act 1

• Scene 1: Conference Room, I.R.S., Washington, D.C.
• Scene 2: Cactus Motel, somewhere in Texas.
• Scene 3: In the shadows of the Washington Monument.
• Scene 4: In the kitchen of the whorehouse, Nevada.
• Scene 5: The parlor of the whorehouse and Wall Street, New York.

Act 2

• Scene I: On the information highway.
• Scene 2: Air Force One—on the tarmac, LAX.
• Scene 3: I.R.S. Director's Georgetown home.
• Scene 4: Sam Dallas' apartment, Washington, D.C.
• Scene 5: An I.R.S. corridor.
• Scene 6: The hearing.
• Scene 7: Larry King Live. Scene 8: Sam Dallas' dressing room, Washington, D.C.
• Scene 9: The Stallion Fields Whorehouse, Nevada.
• Scene 10: The steps of our nation's Capitol.

Instrumentation

Woodwinds: Trumpets I, II, III: Trombones: I, II: Violins: I, II, III; Cello I, II; Keyboards I, II; Guitars; Bass: Harp: